I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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