Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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