i barfeds in our rink
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize