it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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