Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
