There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize