I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wear drunk well.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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