ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
