I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
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