we have officially lost it.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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