Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
