i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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