I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
