On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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