Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
