You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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