Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize