THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
