i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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