If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize