That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize