you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
