my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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