i think i have herpe
just one?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
