My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
