with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
