just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's the barista slut.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
