i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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