No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
