My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
