I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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