halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
