you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The air was thick with penises
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
