Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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