i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
