I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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