No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
