Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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