All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im holly from the hills drunk
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize