I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
