I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she smelled like a LAN party
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize