I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize