i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
