the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
