were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
