they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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