worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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