Your face is a jimmy john
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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