btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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