I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
don't judge my taste in strippers
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
