; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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