I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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