Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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