i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
