I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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