Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
