Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
