I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Plan B is the new Plan A
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
