I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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