garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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