I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
