yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
